A space to be known

The first blogpost I ever wrote for the Reformed Journal blog was about the Flint water crisis. It ended with an appeal for Michigan residents to call their state legislators.

Maybe it’s fitting, then, to pin the blame on my departure from the blog on none other than the Michigan state legislature. These days I have the honor of serving on the staff of Michigan’s very first female Senate majority leader, and it leaves me with a bit less time to spend musing on this space.

I tried to come up with something profound to say to mark the moment, but I just kept coming up with the same thought: I’m so grateful. I count it among the surprises of my life that people out there (who weren’t my mom) cared what I thought enough to click on a link or open an email. Your solidarity has buoyed me during some challenging years, your encouragement energized me when I was down, and your push-back made me think harder and better about what I really believed. 

There were so many late nights that I spent on the couch, willing a blogpost idea to appear in my brain before I succumbed to my overwhelming desire to sleep. There were just as many nights that I pressed “publish” with trepidation, sure that my handful of friends would disavow me as soon as they read the hot garbage I’d publicly aired on the internet the night before.

But miracle of miracles, somehow in the morning I would instead find a kind comment, a gracious “share” on facebook, or even the occasional person pulling me aside at a baby shower or the grocery store to tell me that I’d written something that mattered to them. It is a vulnerable thing, I’ll admit, to write words on a page and actually let people see them. It feels terrible. Terrible only until it feels like a miracle – because another human, living another life entirely, sees, connects, responds, agrees. 

So thank you – for letting me rant, weep, remember, pray, fear, resist, complain, appeal, give thanks, confess, reflect, tribute, and re-assess with you for all these years. When I scan through it all, there’s so much of who I truly am that you’ve born witness to. I have been so deeply shaped by this profound gift: a space to be known.

Photo by Zoe on Unsplash