Dear Reader,
On August 14 of this year, my wife Tammy and I celebrated twenty-five years of marriage. I can hardly believe it’s been a quarter of a century since the two of us naively stood hand-in-hand in Camano Chapel (Stanwood, Washington) and spoke words of promise to one another. A few years ago, inspired by the beautiful work of Douglas McKelvey and others at Rabbit Room Press, I started writing my own liturgies to mark and name the holiness of life’s occasions–those moments both quotidian and extraordinary. I’ve shared a couple of those liturgies here on the RJ blog (“A Liturgy for Those Who Doubt God’s Call” and “A Liturgy for Entering Sabbath Rest”).
With my wife Tammy’s permission, I’d like to share with you today the liturgy I wrote in celebration of our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I’ve revised it a bit, taking out some of the more personal parts of our particular marriage story and making it more useful for celebrating any wedding anniversary. I offer this to be prayed with your spouse or shared with others or, better yet, to inspire you to write some liturgies of your own.
A LITURGY FOR
Celebrating a Wedding Anniversary
By Brian R. Keepers
Creator God,
in the beginning, when you formed man
from the dust of the ground
and breathed your breath in him,
and set him in the garden
to live and work and flourish,
you looked at what you made and said,
“It is not good for man to be alone;
I will make him a helper as his partner.”
Out of the ground you formed
every animal of the field,
and every bird of the air,
and you paraded them before man
to see what he would call them.
And whatever name he gave them,
you honored that name.
But for the man, among all the animals he named,
no suitable helper could be found.
So you caused him to drift into a deep sleep,
and while he slept, you took one of his ribs
and closed up its place with flesh.
From the rib you made woman,
and you brought her to the man,
and in wonder and delight he exclaimed,
“This at last is bone of my bones,
and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called Woman,
for out of Man she was taken,
and she has been given to represent
on earth the living God to me, and
I shall represent the living God to her!”
Therefore, a man leaves his father and mother
and clings to his wife,
and they become one flesh—
husband and wife,
joined together in a beautiful mystery,
not cancelling out each other’s
uniqueness, but created into
something new together;
beholding and honoring one another;
enhancing one another’s glory;
joined together and called together
in the triune God to love and serve
side by side, hand in hand.
Naked, vulnerable, courageous,
and without shame. (Gen. 2:18-25)
Covenant-making God,
Just as you made us one flesh
_________ years ago on this day,
you alone continue to hold us together.
Your very grace sustains us daily:
in every season,
in every struggle,
in every joy,
in every heartache,
and in every blessing.
“But now thus says the LORD,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name,
you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and through the rivers,
they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through the fire
you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the LORD your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
your Savior.” (Is. 43:1-3)
Faithful God,
We thank you for the love
with which you have loved us;
and the love that now enables us to
love one another with tenderness,
humility, patience, sacrifice,
imagination, wonder and delight.
We thank you for this love that,
to borrow from C.S. Lewis,
“is a deep unity; maintained by the will
and deliberately strengthened by habit;
reinforced by the grace which both [of us]
ask and receive from God.”
Yes, Lewis was right:
“’Being in love’ first moved [us] to promise
fidelity; but this quieter love enables [us] to keep the promise.
It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run:
being in love was the explosion
that started it.” (Mere Christianity).
On our wedding anniversary,
we thank you, O Lord,
for the explosion that started this marriage.
Even more, we thank you
for the quieter love that has given
fuel, depth, and maturity
to this holy union that is truly
a gift from you.
We thank you for all the ways that you
have formed us more into your image
through the joys and challenges
of growing into our marriage vows.
We thank you for who we are together;
we are better together than we could
ever be on our own.
Thank you for friends and family
who have buoyed us up and loved us
in and through our pain.
Thank you for “the given life,
and not the life we planned.” (Wendell Berry)
As we celebrate ________ years
and look back, there is so much
to be thankful for.
Here the couple may offer specific prayers of
thanksgiving for God’s faithfulness over
the past year(s).
God of hope,
as we look ahead
to what is still to come,
we ask that you would
keep us grounded in your love,
secure in our identity in you, O Christ,
and strengthen us by your Spirit.
Deepen our love for you,
for one another,
for our family and friends,
for our neighbors and church family,
and even for our enemies.
May our marriage continue to be
a sign of your kingdom,
an instrument of peace and justice,
a sacrament of love
for the sake of the world.
We are not our own.
We are yours.
We belong to you,
and we belong to each other.
Make us, together as one flesh,
ready and willing to live wholeheartedly,
everywhere and always,
in the good times and the bad,
for you alone and
for the praise of your glory.
Amen.
Beautiful liturgy Brian. Having just passed our 3rd anniversary in a second marriage, this liturgy is so humbly true how God is involved in making us recognize and hear God say “and it was good”. This liturgy is to acknowledge it is by God’s design to enrich us both individually as a couple, a family and to the world.
Bravo! Thank you!
Lovely and moving — thank you for this!