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要静止，知道我是上帝。 诗篇四十六章十节
作为一个多动症患者，我承认，这节经文一直给我的 heebie jeebies。 在高中时，我是坐在课后排的女孩。 如果任何类持续时间超过 8 秒，我的身体通过振动积极运动反抗。 腿在桌子下弹跳上下，速度足以与蜂鸟的翅膀相媲美。
“贝丝卡罗尔，坐不住”，我的几何老师会骂刺激。 无论我多么努力，我的大脑的动能无法安静我不安的身体。 寂静代表着我太缺陷无法达到的状态。
今天，这个信息渗透不仅仅是我紧张的身体。 让我的多动症公司在成年是我的新朋友-焦虑。 多动症对我的身体做了什么，我的大脑一度上升的焦虑。 螺旋式龙卷风的 "如果" 夷为平地我的理性的景观。
如果我因缺乏组织而被解雇该怎么办？ 如果蚊虫叮咬实际上是蜘蛛咬，或者更糟糕的是棕色斜倚蜘蛛咬？ 如果我不小心吃了大肠杆菌的生菜，尽管它被召回呢？ 如果我在去杂货店后忘记洗手，不顾一意地从牙齿上挑一块罗缅生菜，怎么办？ 如果我爱的人得到了病毒怎么办？ 如果生活永远不会恢复正常呢？ 如果我真的病了而且医院里没有房间给我怎么办？
如果，如果，如果，如果，如果什么。
所有这些都足以将自己隔离到我黑暗的卧室，使自己远离我的大脑和社会。
如果仍然是认识神的必要条件，那么对于一个在她裤子和头上有蚂蚁的人来说，还有什么希望呢？
有时，我得到幸运和一个有益的 “如果” 植物本身坚固地在我的大脑。 昨天是这样的一天。
如果这种寂静与我冷静和平静地集中自己的能力没有任何关系，以便神向我显示，但实际上意味着完全不同的东西呢？
我去了诗篇 46 自己看。 在这篇诗篇里，灾难无处不在。 有地震和海啸。 地球的基础正在被动摇，我们的创造正在被毁灭的威胁。 政治领域的不稳定同样严重。 各国正处于一场喧嚣之中。 王国的热点。 因为它已经知道的社会正处于崩溃的边缘。 听起来很熟悉吗？
然而诗篇 46 说：“上帝是我们的避难所和力量，是在灾难中帮助。 所以我们不惧怕，即使大地变了。” 两个词跳出来我："我们" 和 "恐惧"。
快讯：地球生存的未来不会坐在我的肩膀上。 人类的命运并不掌握在一个试图找到免疫的实验室里的孤独病毒学家手中。 解决腐败政治制度的办法并不在于将一个橙色头发的领导人换成另一个领导人。 世界的未来并不取决于我们中任何一个人坐在自己和认识神。
我们的救赎在于看到我们和我们周围的动荡、毁灭、死亡、绝望、疾病和功能障碍，并知道我们能够一起站在这里。 即使我们被隔离的家园里，我们也看着神在我们周围所做的事，在我们面前，特别是与我们在一起。
要静止并认识上帝，就是允许神解决我们心中的集体焦虑和内松鼠，即使当媒体煽动我们害怕的时候。 我们可以知道，在这样的宇宙破碎，上帝仍然选择我们和选择创造。
这不是我们聚集的寂静，所以我们可以紧张自己，听到和认识神。 这种寂静是让我们惊讶的敬畏，当我们看到可能的转变，如果我们思考和想象作为社区和会众，而不是孤独的。 我们仍然不知道神的爱和能力。 这是一种对上帝的能力和爱的认识，使我们剧照。
如果这个季节是教会被改造的地方呢？ 如果我们有限的限制带来了无限的可能性，在人际关系，创造力和团结呢？ 如果这个时间并不意味着创造的破坏，但实际上的诞生痛惜的东西救赎？ 如果我们被召唤以新的和令人兴奋的方式将我们的礼物与我们周围的伤害联系起来呢？
如果怎么办？ 如果怎么办？ 如果怎么办？ 如果怎么办？
我认为这些问题是值得的，以便听到答案，即使我们的心灵、身体和头脑都是紧张的。
Well said Beth. Well said!
Magnificent. It is hard to let God be God.
Be blessed,
Mark
Loved the phrase: “What hope is there for someone with ants in her pants?” … well said … thank you.
Thank you, Beth. I too have an inner squirrel.
What if we are just called to lament, what would that look and sound like? What kind of church would we become if we were better at lamenting?
This is good, and helps me reflect on my own soul, and this kind of meditation is one of the reasons I like this blog.
Thank you for this Beth!
Thanks, Beth, for a thoughtful article. I think most of us had some form of insecurity, as young people. Some of us were better at hiding our self doubts than others. I remember well, my two sons telling us as parents the reason they got C’s and D’s in high school was they simply were not smart and they were destined to get low grades. That was okay with them in high school because their sole aspiration was to be professional skateboarders. But then in his final year of high school I overheard the oldest telling his younger brother (a year behind him) that he learned the secret to getting good grades. It was, “just listen carefully to your teachers; you have to be in class anyway, so listen instead of daydreaming of skateboarding.” For him, it was, be still and listen to your teachers. And it worked for him. He was on the honor roll for the rest of his high school career. And today both sons are very successful in their professional endeavors. My sons, like myself, were late learners. I wish my brothers had given me the same advise as a high schooler. But we, mostly, get over many of our youthful insecurities and find a measure of success as we get older. Your article reflects a similar success.
Just a small matter. Even though social media isn’t always positive, by far and beyond, I hear more positivity for the eventual good future of our nation and world. I hear a lot of good will being shared by a variety of people and a lot of confidence that this endemic will be overcome in time through the combined efforts of many. A little positivity goes a long way. Thanks, Beth.
I am a member of a neighboring church, Pillar, but I don’t think we have ever met. But if your “ants in the pants” personality allows/inspires blogs like this one, praise God. I like it. I like it. And it comforts me in this difficult time. I hope to read more of these from you, words written with legs shaking.
Oh dear Beth.
Thank you.
“We do not still ourselves to know of God’s love and power. It is an awareness of God’s power and love that stills us.” The psalmist would shout her fullest agreement! As do I.
Thanks, sister in Christ.
THIS! ALL. OF. THIS! So So good! In this season of grief and isolation, reading encouraging words like this are so so helpful! A friend of mines posted this of FB and it was exactly the reminder I needed! I should also add, when grieving, (I lost my dad this week) I enjoy some comic relief mixed in with truths, so I appreciated this line “The solution to a corrupt political system does not lie in exchanging one orange-haired leader for another. ” AMEN!