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My parents divorced when I was about thirteen or so. Probably should better recall when exactly—it certainly was a rough period in my family’s life and my development and maturation—but this is not meant to be a therapeutic exercise nor a rumination about divorce. Wounded and broken but nevertheless intact, all parties have survived and moved on. Such is life in the world we live. And I might add, having good parents, extended family, and generally a very good support system especially in the church I would call myself quite fortunate. I’m grateful.
- I knew that my parents were no longer in love.
- I knew that divorce was wrong, even a sin; Jesus basically said so. Not part of God’s plan.
- I knew Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”
- I knew that God was in control of everything, providence and what not, and has that plan even for my parents.
- I knew about forgiveness too, and salvation.
- I knew that somehow even romance connects with God’s plan, and as an Evangelical Christian, God makes one person out there for every other person. (In hindsight, this may have had less to do with evangelicalism and more with western romanticism, but it would seem that the Christian contemporary music I listened to supported it nonetheless, as well as a good amount of other popular evangelical messages and media.)
- I knew that sin is real, dangerous, all around, etc., bad, bad, bad.
- I knew that my brother and I existed, a result of my parents’ marriage.
- My parents are getting a divorce and that is probably the right thing to do. Is it a sin? Yep. But it was most likely a greater sin that they ever got together to begin with, because obviously, it wasn’t part of God’s plan! Two wrongs don’t make a right, but extending the first wrong doesn’t either. God must have had someone else planned for each of them, and they went and screwed that up. Fine. But what of the children? Of me? Hmm, that is tricky. My logic tends to lead me to think then that the children of such an un-God-planned union must also be unplanned? Sort of makes sense when I think of my little brother. But of me?! A conundrum… Am I not part of God’s plan? An unintended consequence of my parents’ sin?