I’m not ok.
And I’m giving myself permission not to be okay.
Like the day after the 2016 election, I woke up the day after this election and cried. In 2016, I cried for myself and my two daughters. I cried because a man who admitted to sexual assault–behavior that should automatically disqualify anyone from the highest office in the land– had been elected.
I cried for the same reasons this week, but I also cried for so much more.
In 2016, I tried to make sense of the election results by trying to understand that people were tired of broken and corrupt institutions. There are plenty of broken and corrupt institutions that need fixing. But we are also seeing and experiencing people simply fed up with institutions in general and fully dismantling them, perceivably without thought to what should take their places.
This is a privileged position.
You can dismantle public schools and public education if you have the resources to educate your children through other avenues.
You can dismantle women’s healthcare and reproductive care if you are able to become pregnant naturally and carry that pregnancy to a healthy and viable delivery.
You can dismantle denominations if you don’t rely on denominational support for your mission work or mission organization.
And you can dismantle politics if you are of a race, gender, sexual orientation, or income level that protects you no matter what.
So, I’m not ok.
I’m trying, as Jeff Munroe wrote for Wednesday’s blog, to take a step back, take a deep breath, and remember that God is God. I’m trying to remember, as Nadia Bolz-Weber wrote, that “millions of human beings throughout history have lived through worse political situations and still managed to make art, and find joy, and share meals and resist despair…”
But I’m also looking for ways to fight for the members of my church family who are political refugees looking for a home and a place to belong. I’m looking for ways to fight for my friends with trans kids who are simply trying to keep their kids safe and alive. I’m looking for ways to fight for my Black friends who are already receiving hate messages. I’m looking for ways to fight for my daughters and their physical safety as they enter adolescence in a time when gun violence and violence against women seem to be the norm.
I’m not ok.
But I’m working on it.
Decisive point, “This is a privileged position.”
You have expressed so well what my heart and mind are feeling right now. Where is the care and love for those not in a “privileged position?” God help us! I am on my knees in prayer.
Amen!
A people assess their situation and decide “we were better off in bondage.” Lord have mercy
That’s right.
We join you in “not being OK!” for the reasons you so well articulated.
Harold Gazan
The consequences of the widening privilege gap will definitely be felt. I fear for the marginalized and the next generation and the church much more than for myself. Will the church wake up and see how it has compromised itself? So back to bondage it is. But we Americans are also the Egyptians. A convenient litany of lies has defeated complex truths. An excellent analysis, Kathryn.
I hear your deep sadness and concerns especially for what will be foisted upon this nation by this wildly corrupt president elect. Some called him the best retail politician since probably Ronald Reagan which seems to be true when you see his many followers! I am most dismayed by our fellow citizens who felt it was ok to vote for a person who lies daily, cheats, takes no responsibility a nd doesn’t care about solving problems because” he is a better businessman “ which by the way he is not. I’m especially horrified by Christians who decided he was good enough! May Gif help us – we are going to need it! Fran Hackney
I’m especially horrified by Christians who say God chose him to “save America.”
And on top of that shared angst is for me the physiological effect of seasonal “daylight-savings” time-change. Can’t shake either source of gloom.
Thank you Kathy for articulating so well what so many of us are experiencing.
Thank you. Kathy. ❤️
Kathy,
This is so honest and so wise–and so hopeful, even, in that you remind us of what good work is being asked of us now. I keep thinking of the line from Nick Cage’s interview with Steven Colbert: “Hopefulness is not a neutral position; it is adversarial, it is the the warrior emotion that can lay waste to cynicism.” Cynicism is so easy right now, and so opposite of anything God seems to be calling us to.
Thanks, friend, for leading us through this time so capably, so carefully.
Thanks Kathy. We share your pain and search for hope.
I’m depressed and cynical, too, even though I admit I need to be one who contributes to hopefulness
and to shalom. I’m reminded of Dickinson’s famous poem: “hope is the thing with feathers…that never stops singing at all.” Even though I want to say Amen to that, I feel like this singing hope has migrated
south for the winter.
Yet, I am grateful for your thoughtful and heartfelt reflections.
I do not look forward to the next four years, but God is in control. I have often seen that a bad situation results in improved situations. I keep praying that that will happen again now.
Many react to “God is in control” as an empty, pious cliche. In ultimate control – yes; our faith hangs on the promise of a new heaven and a new earth to come. Until then, doesn’t God give his people the responsibility for control?
Kathy, Thank You. I am of “like mind”.
Thank you, Kathy. I appreciate the way you personalized this, because for most of us the ever-expanding circle of hate and fear has reached our own circle of beloved ones. It reached mine when quite a few years ago the president-elect mocked and mimicked a reporter with a movement disorder that looked a lot like my husband’s. Even legal immigrants are now being threatened, and the word “ASIANS” (hyper-enunciated) was followed by “We have to get rid of these people” in a recent campaign speech. I picture my Korean-born daughter who is a naturalized citizen. I have had a young Muslim friend crying in my house and even other senior WASP women sending texts in the middle of the night as they fear for their vulnerable families. I have a teenage trans grandchild and a teenage Black former student—both just being who they are—who have been expressing intensified anxiety in an already scary environment for them. And I have a good imagination. The visions we are being asked to embrace, in no way mirror the deeply personal and broadly universal faith we grew up in and continue to profess.
Well written. Your words ring true for me. I pray God sees us through and that all of my worries are unfounded. Hope is my favorite word and I will hold onto the hope that we become stronger and more unified despite the state of the world today.
I am also not ok. Heartbroken, disillusioned, sad and so angry. How so many Christians AGAIN supported this evil man is beyond comprehension. I am sad for my grandchildren who will, in the next four years or more, see more hate than they should.
thank you… just saddened regardless of what is written or said. The American evangelical church worships a man with orange hair & america seems to be motivated by fear rather than any sort of goodness… Sure, God is our hope, but it ain’t in the churches or coming from d.c…
This…with you in all of it. Lord, may I use my privilege for all the good you call us to in the world.