Pencil Sharpener Wars

The two pencil sharpeners were identical, both blue with white plastic covers. They fit the hand of a second grader perfectly. 

Unfortunately, these little sharpeners belonged to a pair of feuding classmates. 

One week after school started, this dispute was just the beginning. Each girl was sure that the sharpener in sight at any given moment belonged to her and she snatched it angrily away without warning. The tattles and accusations flew with tempers only reluctantly reduced with my intervention. Even other sweet friends who tried to make peace were turned away. 

Soon, events escalated. One girl’s foot edged out firmly under the desk space of the other. Crayons disappeared and math books were pushed off onto the floor. When one girl stood up to leave, the chair of the other blocked the aisle.  

Sometimes the conflict was silent as each girl tried to antagonize the other, and sometimes it erupted in loud outbursts. In every skirmish, the girls were quick to accuse each other with words like “stolen”, “pushed me”, and “you are the worst.” Neither was willing to examine her own emotions or actions and insisted every single thing was completely the other girl’s fault. The situation was at an impasse when I asked both to stay behind when the class left for recess.

 The argument continued despite my best efforts to reason with them. I tried all my usual teacher moves but the girls were not only unwilling to listen, but they kept interrupting and shouting at each other. 

Finally I asked when they had started feeling so angry with each other. What was their history? How long had they even known each other? As it turned out, the girls hadn’t known each other long at all. They hadn’t been in either kindergarten or first grade classes together and they rarely interacted at school. After a week of second grade, they were sworn enemies.

As they eyed each other suspiciously, I turned to each and pointed out what I knew about the other. 

“Did you know that Sophia has the kindest heart? I’ve seen her smile and be the first to help _______ (our classmate with special needs) at recess when he wants to play on the swings. One time she even gave up her swing so he could use it. 

And Sophia, did you know that Eva is one of the funniest kids I know? She cracks me up on the daily with the things she says to me.” 

As I spoke, the girls would not look at each other, but they had at least stood quietly. I sent them down the hall to recess. I promised to label their sharpeners and move their seats. I followed them at a short distance and saw them walking slowly and without arguing. I shook my head and went to find the labeler.

After recess I became busy with small groups and student math work. Second graders roamed the room, grabbing their laptops as they finished their snacks and got ready to settle in for independent work. After a little bit it occurred to me that the room felt unusually peaceful, so I looked up to find my two little fighters sitting at a table together at the back of the room, giggling over a book they held between them. 

All it took was that little bit of connection and positivity to open their hearts and end the suspicion and anger. Their relationship did not become magically perfect and without disagreement, but instead of acting immediately with accusations and rage the girls were much more inclined to be calm with each other and give in a little when they knew they had crossed a line.  

Second grade is far removed from adulthood, but the girls’ conflict mirrors what we sometimes see from grownups. In the classroom, we intentionally build community and help students make personal connections in the hopes that those lessons will transfer as they mature. We often hear that authentic personal connection is the most effective way to bridge the gap between those on opposing sides. Adult disagreements are much more complex and can defy resolution, but the story of these two girls offers just a small glimpse of hope and possibility, one pencil sharpener at a time.