Oh baby why you ain’t got no butter hunh?

I drive all the way over here for butter, milk, eggs, and now I jus’ denied. Deeeee-nied.

I do ‘ppreciate you are open late on a Sunday night, I sincerely do.

But this? why you do me wrong baby why

Okay then sugar cereal and salsa and chips too

And maybe this chocolate bar k fine two chocolate bars

staaahhp the seasonal home decorations are on saaaaaale

who can resist half-priced knick knacks? baby not me

ooo Jennifer and Justin are splitting

wait who even is that

oh sure the card reader isn’t working

yeah no who even carries cash anymore? other than drug dealers?

actually I bet they squarespace now

or paypal it forward

but seriously hold up here’s a five in my pocket

fine just milk and eggs I guess not a gallon just a half-gallon for now

I mean I was going to come back tomorrow anyway

because I can’t get enough of you dollar store baby

‘cuz there’s always never enough milk for the cereal

or, like, cereal for the milk

so I keep comin’ back baby

keep comin’ back

uh huh baby

back to the dollar store

wooo

Sarina Gruver Moore teaches English literature and writing at Grove City College in Pennsylvania.